News, Politics, Religion, Entertainment, Gossip and Opinion for Thinking Folks
From the monthly archives:
Doesn’t everyone like a nice big clock? I said clock.
Whatever you were going to get done in 2008, you’ve done! Congratulations! Now it’s time to move on to 2009, so make your wish lists and get busy!
Here comes our new president, full of hope and anticipation of a better world. America will rally… it always does.
Be brave, be strong, and by all means be of good cheer and love one another! Peace and happiness in the New Year!
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in ends, gone, hooray, hope
Alaskan cracker Bristol Palin, 18, daughter of noted imbecile and failed VP candidate Gov. Sarah Palin, has joined the parade of 18-year-old high school dropout moms after giving birth to a little bastard named Tripp, not to be confused with his Down Syndrome Uncle Trig.
Her baby daddy is hunky hockey player Levi Johnston, 18, son of accused Oxycontin dealer Sherry Johnston of Wasilla, now a proud felon grandma.
What a lovely family. Here’s an excerpt from Levi’s MySpace page, before it was made private:
“I’m a fuckin’ redneck who likes to snowboard and ride dirt bikes. But I live to play hockey. I like to go camping and hang out with the boys, do some fishing, shoot some shitt and just fuckin’ chillin’ I guess. Ya fuck with me I’ll kick ass.”
Now these dumbasses are going to pocket $300,000 for pix of their li’l Ritz Bit.
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in babies, drugs, hot messes, morons, pearl clutch, wrecks
At last, Paris Hilton has met someone who is her mental equal. No, that’s not Benji Madden, it’s some kind of mascot for an online New Year’s Eve party she’s pimping in Australia. They make a cute couple!
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in bad hair, mascots, whatever
On the Saturday before the inauguration, President-elect Obama will hop a train in Phildelphia, then stop in Delaware to pick up VP-elect Joe Biden, and stop again for a celebration in Baltimore. On Sunday, there will be a welcome event open to the public. Monday, January 19th is Martin Luther King Day, which will be observed by Obama and Biden by participating in activities dedicated to serving others in communities across the D.C. area.
On Tuesday, January 20th, Obama and Biden will take their oaths of office. Here’s how it’ll play:
First we’ll hear some musical selections from the fabulous Marine Corps Band (one of their bands will also appear in the Rose Parade), then a performance by the San Francisco Boys and Girls Choruses.
Then there’s the formality of a “Call to Order,” and Senator Diane Feinstein of California will make welcoming remarks (she helped negotiate the peace between Obie and Hillary).
Next up is an invocation by controversial Pastor Rick Warren, whose participation was met with disgust by the gay community because of Warren’s support of Prop. 8 and his Neanderthal statements about homosexuality. But Barack is apparently including him in the name of “dialogue” on difficult social issues.
Then it’s Aretha Franklin singing an as yet unnamed selection, followed by Associate Supreme Court Justice Paul Stevens administering the Oath of Office to VP-elect Joseph Biden.
This will be followed by more music from a mini orchestra selected by film composer John Williams, featuring violinist Itzhak Perlman, cellist Yo-Yo Ma, pianist Gabriela Montero and clarinetist Anthony McGill.
At Noon, Chief Justice of the United States Supreme Court John G. Roberts, Jr., will then administer the Presidential Oath of Office to Barack Obama, who has asked that Lincoln’s bible be used in the ceremony, borrowed for the day from the Library of Congress. Barack’s swearing-in precedes the 200th anniversary of Lincoln’s birth by a few weeks. It is the first time since Lincoln’s inauguration that the bible has been used in a presidential swearing-in ceremony.
Immediately following the oath, the bands play four ruffles and flourishes and “Hail to the Chief,” followed by a 21-gun salute from howitzers of the Presidential Salute Battery, 3d United States Infantry Regiment (The Old Guard).
President Obama will then deliver his Inaugural Address, one of the most anticipated speeches in the history of the United States, and it should be a doozy.
Some reports say there will then be a poem by Elizabeth Alexander.
A benediction will then be delivered by Reverend Dr. Joseph E. Lowery, a former civil rights leader and retired pastor of Atlanta’s Cascade United Methodist Church, who is gay-friendly.
The National Anthem will be performed for President Obama by the U.S. Navy Band Sea Chanters.
Then Obama will have to start fixing this mess we’re in.
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in hooray, little known facts, obamas, obesity, politicsHey kids, here’s Caroline Kennedy proving why you’ve got to stop saying “you know” so much. And while you’re at it, quit saying “like” every third word. Like now.
ABC news reports that The New York Times transcript of its interview with Kennedy showed her using “you know” 142 times.
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in kennedys, language, pearl clutch, politics
The future leader of the free world took his daughters for some shaved ice in Hawaii over the weekend, wearing shorts, tee shirt and sandals. That’s how he stays cool.
Look for Hawaii’s tourist industry to pick up.
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in chexy's fashion report, obamas, politics
My imaginary daughter Amy, 6, spent Christmas with Carolyn and Fahd (above in their Christmas finery) and Big Carolyn (visting again) at the home of Fahd’s sister, Yalda, a clerk at the Jiffy Lube in Torrance, and her husband, Hank, who runs a Public Storage facility in Gardena, and according to Amy is missing the top of a thumb.
Fahd drove Amy and the Carolyns down to Torrance in his Kia, because, Amy tells me, “Mommy’s car still has an orange boot on it.” Amy sent me these photos from her Hello Kitty cell phone. I have told Carolyn no fewer than one time that horizontal stripes were not slimming.
Mercifully, Amy did not ask about the circumstances surrounding the extirpation of Hank’s thumb. “Texting must be difficult,” offered my sympathetic Amy, seen here enjoying “the delicious Kentucky Fried Chicken they reheated, because they had to get it on Wednesday.” Yes, I know she’s big for 6.
“They did a lot of eggnogging,” said Amy of her holiday hosts, “so I just played with the dolls they had on a table near the Christmas tree.” Carolyn told me that Amy occupied herself by using moistened red paper napkins to fashion new clothes and turbans for the figurines in Yalda’s nativity creche, giving Mary a two-piece outfit and headband, and the baby Jesus a tiny Santa cap by fashioning a piece of tissue into a pompom (artist’s miraculous conception below).
Yalda was not amused, but Amy said Hank thought it was “beauty-full.” Amy then showed Hank how she could take off the top of her thumb too, recreating the thumb removal trick my Uncle Vernon taught her.
Click here for more Amy stories.
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in my imaginary daughter amy
All beings desire happiness; therefore to all extend your benevolence.
-Mahavamsa
Because one has pity upon every living creature, therefore is a person called “holy.”
-Dhamapada
Like as a mother at the risk of her life watches over her only child, so also let everyone cultivate toward all beings a boundless, friendly mind.
-Metta-sutta
Hurt not others with that which pains yourself.
-Udanavarga
I cannot have pleasure while another grieves and I have power to help him.
-Jatakamala
With pure thoughts and fullness of love, I will do toward others what I do for myself.
-Lalita Vistara
If you desire to do something pleasing to me, then desist from hunting forever! The poor beasts of the forest, being… dull of intellect, are worth of pity for this very reason.
-Jatakamala
You will generously follow the impulse of pity, I hope.
-Jatakamala
Good men melt with compassion even for one who has wrought them harm.
-Kshemendra’s Avadana Kalpata
To make an end of selfishness is happiness.
-Udanavarga
-There is no happiness except in righteousness.
-Attanagalu-vansa
All quotes:
The Essence of Buddhism
from the 1922 Ten Cent Pocket Book Series #325
published by Haldeman-Julius Company
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in religion
Here’s the Benny Goodman Orchestra with Gene Krupa on the drums, and Harry James on trumpet with “Sing, Sing, Sing,” from 1937′s “Hollywood Hotel. This still kicks ass.
Bring on the Chinese acrobats!
Ever seen a giant octopus? From the BBC… this footage is quite amazing.
The Nicholas Brothers, Fayard and Harold, in 1940′s “Down Argentine Way.”
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in 1930, animals, chexy's saturday matinee, sensations, wonders
Her Majesty, Betty Deuce, slapped on this spectacular holiday bowler for Christmas Day services at St. Mary’s Church in Sandringham yesterday, and in the spirit of the season, B2 actually smiled!
Now let’s take a look at some of yesterday’s other wacky royal hats! Here’s Zara Phillips, the Queen’s granddaughter, in a helicopter-like bonnet she had trouble keeping on her head.
It looks like someone told Camilla she was going to a funeral! This craptabulous topper looks like she woke up late and dragged it out of the Christmas fireplace and plopped it on her peroxided noggin! Well, not like she dragged it out, but the royal milliner, of course. Looks like Cam gave her makeup artist the day off… or he just finally gave up.
Photos by Chris Jackson/Getty Images
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in chexy's fashion report, girls will be girls, royals
"If the phone doesn't ring, it's me.”
--Jimmy Buffett
