Perez Hilton headline today.

Reality trash Kim Kardashian has revealed that she would like to run for Mayor of the heavily Armenian city of Glendale, a suburb of L.A.

In the public interest, I offer these potential campaign slogans.

Kim Kardashian — In the Pubic Interest

Who Needs Reality? Vote Kim

I Will Personally Help Every Black Man in the City

I Only Want to Be Mayor for 72 Days

I’m Dumb Enough for Politics

Just Say Ho

No Child Left, and No Ho Without a… Behind

Liberty and Botox for All

My Country Tis of Me

Lipstick on a Pig

HOpe

You Can Count (and Pee) on Me

The Land of the Fee

My Mom Said I Could

All for One, That One Being Me

Kimpossible

Electrolysis for Everyone!

ty Johnny Lopez

It turns out that Belgian bimbo Kimberley Vlaeminck did ask for 56 stars to be tattooed on her face 3 years ago, and she lied about “falling asleep” in the tattoo parlor, because she was afraid of her father’s reaction to her being such a fucking idiot.

She had originally said she was going to sue the tattooist for the cost of removing the offending Milky Way, and that a language barrier caused the tattoo snafu. All a lie.

Rachel Zoe spinoff Brad Goreski showed up to the Bravo upfronts wearing what appears to be a homemade suit, or a nurse’s outfit from the Maternity Ward at Cedars-Sinai. Nothing quite says style like too short and too wide pants, too short sleeves, with unfortunate cuffs and a pair of Rachel’s shoe discards.

What look is he going for? Good Humor douche? Diaper Deliveryman in WeHo? He looks like he outgrew this on the way to the event.

Just no.

Actress Debra Messing clearly shouldn’t leave the house without having Will take a look at her, or Jack, or a housekeeper. Someone.

They could at least tell her about pearl necklaces, and how many is too many.

This is what she wore to the 3rd Annual Women in the World Summit at Lincoln Center in NYC yesterday. Perhaps she thought she was starring in another revival of “Chicago.”

No, he’s not starring in a new reality show “Drag Race at Plymouth Rock’s L.A. Ink,” that’s just designer Marc Jacobs at a photo call at Paris Fashion week.

He needs a friend.

Getty

While the Mormons are busily engaged in posthumously baptizing dead people, including famed Holocaust victim Anne Frank. One man, whose grandparents survived the Holocaust and suffered the indignity of being “converted” by Mormons after death, got even, reports the Daily Kos.

The anonymous humorist thought it only fair to follow this absurdity with another, leading to the creation of the “Convert a Dead Mormon to Gay” web site, the idea of which is as outrageously cuckoo as converting someone’s religion after they’ve quit breathing.

Click the pic of the generator below to visit the site and save your favorite dead Mormon’s soul from an eternity without Madonna, cosmos, and Grindr. Don’t know any dead Mormons? They’ll find one for you, thanks to those handy dead Mormon databases.

Don’t know any dead Mormons who weren’t already gay? Me either.

Romney pic via Mother Jones
ty Steve D.

When I want cheap candy, I want to be reminded of the crucifixion.

This is a deeply moving confectionery experience.

Put the tablet on your tongue, and be forgiven.

via Tumblr

Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall was absolutely stunning (people were stunned) as she arrived to the St. James Park Tube Station after taking part in an “Improve your English” class in London on Thursday.

She’s wearing a tartan plaid skirt and matching jacket that she has worn for the last four winters, perhaps longer.

Here she is wearing it at a rehab center in 2009…

at a mosque in early 2009…

during her nighttime DJ gig in 2009, where she failed to ignite a “plaid craze”…

and again in 2008, God bless her…

and again in 2008…

Please wave goodbye to this outfit!

Lakers darling Kobe Bryant won’t be charged in the matter of a church scuffle in San Diego in which a man claimed he was injured by Kobe at St. Therese of Carmel last August, when Bryant reportedly snatched the man’s cell phone from his hand, thinking he was taking pictures of the tongue-wagging ball tosser.

Kobe is not a rapist or an adulterer, and he’s not a brawler.

No photos, please.