Callista Gingrich and her roots sign autographs at a campaign stop.

Newt is apparently doing very badly with women voters.

It seems women don’t like it when men dump their sick wives and get a trophy wife 23 years younger and buy her half a million dollars worth of Tiffany’s jewelry. What a surprise.

Sorry seems to be the hardest word for bitch queen David Furnish, husband of Elton John, who was rather unladylike toward Madonna’s win at the Golden Globes last week.

Furnish furnished a half-assed apology this morning on Facebook, saying, “My comments regarding the Golden Globes have been blown way out of proportion. My passion for our film, “Gnomeo & Juliet” and belief in Elton’s song really got my emotional juices going. But I must say for the record that I do believe Madonna is a great artist, and that Elton and I wish her all the best for next week’s premiere of the film ‘W.E.’”

Back to tying up Elton’s corset.

Well on his way to setting a new record for foot-in-mouth gaffes in a campaign, Mitt Romney said yesterday that his income from speeches is “not very much.” He earned $374,327.62 in speaking fees from Feb. 2010 until Feb. 2011.

Mitt is worth an estimated $250 million. Chump change!

ty Andy

Dear Holy Father,

It’s not looking good for you. You’re 84, you’re THE POPE, and you haven’t yet learned what Jesus taught. I expect a little better from someone who had the sense to get the heck out of the Hitler Youth.

Let me make it simple for you, Your Holiness. Gay marriage is not a threat to the family. Snooki is a threat to the family. Kim Kardashian is a threat to the family. Trans fats, high fructose corn syrup and Newt Gingrich are a threat to the family. Faygelehs? Only a threat to bad decor… and not all of them.

Since I have your attention, you might want to talk to your tailor about updating your look. Those glittery robes and pointy hats are so 2nd century.

There are only half a million gay marriages in the US. There are 76 million American Express cardholders. I’d be concerned about that.

When you look at all the things that ail mankind (and I don’t mean Catholicism), the persecution of the legal coupling of people who would like to have privileges that they pay for others to have, and calling it a threat to the familly, seems a bit like saying that dinner mints are a threat to civilization. Okay, maybe the ones with jelly in them.

I’ll try to say it like Jesus did, or better yet, I’ll let Him say it:

I give you a new commandment:
Love one another;
just as I have loved you,
you also must love one another. (John 13:34)

Thanks for staying awake to read this.

Love,

Your Chexy

P.S. LOVE love luuuuuv the red shoes!

Tiger Woods’ ex tore down this $12-million mansion in order to rebuild on the property. I get it.

There are excesses we can all do without, but when one has the resources to effectively follow every whim and desire, it’s understandable why she’d want to tear down a reasonable house to ensure that every fixture and outlet is exactly where she wants them. No one wants a room with inconvenient outlets, let alone 9,000 square feet of rooms with them. Extension cords and power strips are so inelegant.

We all spend money on things we can do without. I’m a collector and single father of an imaginary daughter, so I spend money on chatchka nonsense made possible by disposable income. I like yellow pottery, so I buy it. Some people like bigger houses, so they tear down perfectly good ones. It’s all relative.

These Darfur refugees are not going for pedicures, pre-booking seats at the ArcLight or buying Caramel Brulée Frappucinos at Starbucks. Neither am I… I do have my own personal set of values.

How can I cluck my tongue at Elin Nordegren for laying waste to a $12-million house, while I throw out some minimally expired yogurt? If I had hit the cheating spouse super lotto, would I not be shopping for a larger home for my pottery collection?

Yes, I would. But I think I’d find an existing house that I liked, and just live in it. Unless, of course, the outlets were badly placed.

The Whole Foods market in L.A.’s glamorous Fairfax district is ready to serve their Jewish customers for Hanukkah. Sorta.

Fail.

(For my non-Jewish readers, one doesn’t eat matzo on Hanukkah… that’s for Passover… which is around Eastertime.)

via Heeb
ty Steve D.

Santa rides a big one for the holidays! Shouldn’t you?

The Kardashianification of speech among young women was analyzed on the “Today” show today.

Linguistics experts are unsure what the long-term effects will be… but in the short-term, it will be annoying.

via curiositykilledthecatt

“Robert Wagner will have dueling appearances on CBS this week: As a handcuffed character on “NCIS” Tuesday and subject of Saturday night’s “48 Hours” segment on Natalie Wood’s death almost 30 years ago,” reported Reuters on Saturday.

L.A. Sheriff Lee Baca, friend of such celebrities as Mel Gibson (the Sheriff’s Dept. initially said Gibson was arrested in Malibu “without incident”), has accepted numerous donations from CBS Chairman Les Moonves, seen above with second wife Julie Chen, host of “The Talk” on CBS.

Moonves has been a steady contributor to Baca’s campaigns, all within the legal limit.

Baca (seen above with Scientologist actress Sophia Milos on a Scientology float in 2004) was reelected in 2010, despite controversy over gifts and a “deputization” program that allowed celebrities to carry arms. The program was canceled after several incidents. He also released Paris Hilton early.

With there being no clear reason to reopen the case, and “no suspects,” one wonders if the whole thing was a publicity stunt to benefit CBS.

Here’s how CBS shared the story.