From the category archives:

crap

Twit for Tat

by Chexy on August 18, 2010

Jew-hatin’ imbecile Jesse James has found his burnt match in reality idiot Kat Von D, and I’d say it’s a match made in a garage somewhere in Orange County.

The moronic Von D tweeted this morning that she was indeed dating the former husband of Sandra Bullock, who kicked his ass to the 405 off ramp after his affair with a Nazi-esque stripper became front-page news.

I hope these two will be happy together — they can spend all their free time getting tattooed, because it looks so pretty on them.

Remember, kids, nothing says I loved you like having to remove a tattoo.

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Really Hot Housewife of DC

by Chexy on August 6, 2010

That hotness is Lynda Erkiletian at the premiere party for “The Real Housewives of D.C.” held at The Madison Hotel in Washington, DC.

I like how her makeup makes her facial fillers look so natural, and that dress does wonders for her shriveled arms… and is really flattering to her hips and bustline, making it unclear where anything begins and ends.

Of course she knows how to dress! She owns the top modeling agency in DC!

Kris Connor/Getty Images

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Plaza Suite

by Chexy on July 29, 2010

Designer Betsey Johnson as she appeared today with an Eloise doll at some nonsense for rich children who stay at the Plaza Hotel.

So alike, and yet one has weird clothes, fake hair and dead eyes.

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Chexy’s Saturday Matinee

by Chexy on July 24, 2010

Ruth Buzzi is 74 today… check out this fearless performance on an old Dean Martin Roast with legend Jimmy Stewart.

Everybody loves Disco, everybody loves Paul Lynde, everybody loves Florence Henderson… put ‘em all together — you judge. This may be why people started using drugs.

And speaking of Old Black Magic… over 30 years since his death, Louis Prima will finally get his star on the Walk of Fame on Sunday, July 25 at 11:30 a.m. in front of The Montalbán Theatre at 1615 N. Vine. Louis Jr. will appear. Here’s Louis Sr. with Keely Smith.

From 1982′s “Koyannisqatsi: Life out of Balance.” The restaurant at 6:48 was Ship’s Coffee Shop in Westwood, Calif., which met with the wrecker’s ball in 1984.

for Jake

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If you’ve always wanted to buy some Elvis memorabilia, here’s your chance to pick up the autopsy tools used to embalm the King back in August 1977. There’s also a toe tag.

The sale takes place August 12 at Leslie Hindman Auctioneers in Chicago, where you can pick up a pair of rubber gloves, forceps, lip brushes, a comb and eye liner, needle injectors, an arterial tube and aneurysm hooks, all of which the auctioneers say were used only once.

The collection belongs to an anonymous senior embalmer from the Memphis Funeral Home, who kept the instruments, and a shipping invoice marked “Elvis Presley.”

The death dreck is expected to fetch about $16,000 combined for the two lots.

The late Elvis earned $55 million in 2009, according to Forbes.com.

from Reuters

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Kennedy Moment

by Chexy on July 16, 2010

Suri comforts a forlorn Katie Holmes as Jackie Kennedy on the set of what promises to be a TV movie corker, as seen in People magazine… and today marks the 11th anniversary of JFK Jr.’s death.

He would have turned 50 this November.

for Gina

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Trigger for Sale

by Chexy on July 9, 2010

The Roy Rogers Museum had to shut down in Branson — because even the goofballs who go to Branson don’t want to see that crap, I mean, why look at a stuffed horse when you can see Yakov Smirnoff at 9:30 AM?

Now Roy and Dale’s memorabilia is going on the auction block next week, including the stuffed remains of Trigger, which are expected to fetch about $200,000.

And now, Roy and Dale, when they got old and religious. Wait for the Jesus chorus.

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Caged Heat

by Chexy on July 7, 2010

I made this Nicolas Cage pic a little smaller so as not to sicken anyone who may have just eaten breakfast… or lunch or dinner. Actually, he looks kind of nauseated, doesn’t he? Oh, he always looks like that. Right.

How many Cage movies have I not seen? Let’s see… I believe I got through the first reel of “Raising Arizona,” and a half hour of “Con Air” while flipping channels in a hotel room. That’s it.

So I won’t be seeing “The Sorcerer’s Apprentice” when it opens July 14th at a theatre near you… or ever. Nice weave, though.

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This douchetabulous look was seen on a model at the Comme Des Garcons Hommes Plus fashion show at Paris Fashion Week on Friday. I didn’t think it was possible, but checks can be ruined.

Here’s another look from the show.

That model looks about as happy to be wearing it as you’d be.

Chris Moore/Catwalking/Getty

ty J.Lo

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Crackpot designer Vivienne Westwood has prepared a swimsuit for the bereaved Jewish beachgoer, with a shiva ribbon fastened to the crotch, as seen at the Milan Menswear Spring/Summer show on Sunday.

How thoughtful, and it makes it much easier to find a minyan at the shore.

Photo by Tullio M. Puglia/Getty Images

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