From the category archives:

drugs

Friday Face: Speedy Alka-Seltzer

by Chexy on October 14, 2011

Look at that adorable face! It’s Speedy Alka-Seltzer, created by ad whiz George Pal, earlier known for creating the Puppetoons.

Speedy first appeared in 1951, under his original name of “Sparky,” but they changed it quickly to coincide with a promotional theme of “Speedy Relief.”

The endearingly bucktoothed and squeaky pitchman appeared in over 200 TV commercials from 1954 to 1964, singing the Alka-Seltzer theme “Plop, plop, fizz, fizz,” in a voice provided by actor Dick Beals, whose credits include voicing the annoying Lutheran tot Davey Hansen in the “Davey and Goliath” stop-motion series.

If you didn’t have indigestion before seeing this early commercial, you will after.

Speedy took the world by fizz, appearing on TV and on merchandise and in print ads, including this one, with a Santa who looks like he summered in the Bahamas.

Many will agree that relief is just a swallow away. And who doesn’t like a nice big clock? I said CLOCK.

Note his Spanish name on the clock, “Pron-Tito”!

Speedy later teamed with previous Friday Facer Buster Keaton for a series of ads, capitalizing on the resurgence of interest in silent films in the early ’60s. Here are a few.

Speedy’s popularity waned as Alka-Seltzer launched other highly successful campaigns in the 1960s and ’70s, including the spicy meatball ad, “I can’t believe I ate the whole thing,” and the “Try it, you’ll like it” ads. And who can forget the plop plop theme sung by Sammy Davis Jr.?

In December 2010, Speedy was brought back from the advertising beyond via CGI, now voiced by a woman named Debi Derryberry, also the voice of Jimmy Neutron.

A window display of Speedy appeared on “Antiques Roadshow” in 2004.

Estimated value: $4,000-$5,000! Instant relief: priceless!

That’s why Speedy Alka-Seltzer is today’s Friday Face.


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‘Valley of the Dolls’ to NBC!

by Chexy on September 27, 2011

It’s the little pill that keeps giving and giving! Jacqueline Susann’s “Valley of the Dolls” is going to get the TV treatment on NBC from Lee Daniels, the director/producer of 2009′s “Precious,” which starred Chexydecimal favorite, Gabourey Sidibe.

Daniels will throw in with 20th Century Fox for the pill-poppin’ rehash. The original novel by Susann has sold over 30 million copies and spawned a 1967 film, a 1981 miniseries and a 1994 soap opera.

Judy Garland was set to play the lead in the film, but got canned for being drunky. She was replaced by the fabulous Susan Hayward, seen above in one of her outfits in the film. Judy tested in a similar one.

Hopefully, they’ll find a cameo for bipolar Social Security spokeswoman Patty Duke, 64, seen below at an event in July, looking like a hot dog makes her lose control.

For more “Valley of the Dolls” clips, click here.

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Friday Face: Veronica Lake

by Chexy on August 26, 2011

That’s a face that launched a million peek-a-boo hairdos, belonging to one Veronica Lake, stunning star of one of my favorite films, “Sullivan’s Travels,” perhaps the best film ever made about making films.

When Veronica was 10, her father died in an industrial explosion, in Philadelphia, no less. What a place to blow up.

She was expelled from an all-girls Catholic boarding school in Montreal, not the worst fate that can befall a girl, but she was likely schizophrenic, and you know how reticent those schizos can be about admitting that.

Through her mother’s second marriage, Veronica ended up in Beverly Hills (of all places) and got work at RKO as a teen. She made it big in 1941 by stealing almost every scene in “I Wanted Wings.” She was 19, married an art director who was much older, and had the first of her 4 children.

Lake was frequently paired with Alan Ladd because he was 5’5″ and she was 4’11″. During WWII, Veronica Lake’s sex appeal made her a favorite pinup girl among soldiers, along with Rita Hayworth and Betty Grable.

Her drinking and erratic behavior earned her a rotten reputation in Tinseltown, where the sultry blonde began to rust like so much war surplus. Joel McCrea turned down a second film with her, saying, “Life’s too short for two films with Veronica Lake.”

During filming of the Nazi spy drama “The Hour Before the Dawn,” she fell on a cable while pregnant and began hemorrhaging. She recovered, but the child was born prematurely and died a week later of uremic poisoning.

Noir scribe Raymond Chandler began calling her “Moronica Lake.” She married Hungarian horror director Andre de Toth and had two more kids. It was rumored that one of them was Alan Ladd’s. Her mother sued her for support. It was 1944, and Veronica was earning $4,500 a week… the equivalent of $56,684 in today’s dollars.

Here’s a couple of minutes of her magnetism, a few stills and some footage, with a cornball song I love. Oh, and there’s more to this story…

She got a pilot’s license and was able to fly solo coast-to-coast, and turned 24.

By 1951 she was divorced again, and her assets were seized by the IRS for unpaid taxes. How did stars blow all that dough?! She managed to get some work on TV and the stage, and remarried in 1955, this time to a songwriter, divorcing him in ’59. She broke her ankle and was arrested for public drunkenness. The big sink from the drink and red ink stinks.

A reporter discovered her working as a barmaid in a Manhattan hotel, and wrote up the story, and as a result she got some work on TV. For a brief time in 1966 she was a TV hostess in Maryland. Have you been to Maryland? She moved to Hollywood… Florida, where her paranoia kicked in; she believed she was stalked by the FBI.

Her autobiography was published in 1972. She used the money from it to finance her last film, “Flesh Feast,” a low-budget horror flick with some kind of Nazi storyline. She moved to England and was married a fourth time — to a sea captain. That didn’t work out either. She filed for divorce and returned to the US in 1973, age 50.

She was immediately hospitalized with hepatitis and renal failure (alcoholics get that) and died, in Burlington, Vermont on July 7, 1973. Her ashes were scattered off the Virgin Islands, per her request. This is a pic of her near the end…

Below is the original trailer for “Flesh Feast,” in which she plays a mad scientist, uttering the classic line, “What’s the matter, don’t you like my little maggots?!”

And that’s today’s Friday Face, with a peek-a-boo ‘do. Happy Friday, everyone! I love you all!

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Chexy’s Saturday Matinee

by Chexy on August 20, 2011


Today would have been author Jacqueline Susann’s 90th birthday (dates vary), so it’s all Valley of the Dolls, all the time.

Here’s Dionne in a swing.

Judy Garland had the part, but she kacked.

Let’s watch the catfight, shall we? Yes.

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Tyra Sanchez Looks Busted

by Chexy on August 18, 2011

That’s because she is, honey.

Miss Tyra Sanchez, winner of Season 2 of “Ru Paul’s Drag Race,” was busted Tuesday near Atlanta on weed charges, reports TMZ.

It seems Miss Thing was riding in a Chevy Impala with too-tinted windows, and cops smelled marijuana when they pulled the car over… and busted Mr. James Ross, 23, better known as the boobalicious Tyra, so they dragged her ass off to Gwinnett County Detention Center, where I’m sure the inmates wigged out.

Couldn’t they give a girl a little time to prep for her mug shot?

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Goodbye, Amy Winehouse

by Chexy on July 23, 2011

No, no, no.

My tears won’t dry.

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Royal Pain Reliever

by Chexy on March 21, 2011

Princess Anne as seen at the Cheltenham Racecourse on Friday, and a display statue of Speedy Alka-Seltzer.

Only one is truly effervescent.

Indigo/Getty

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Frankensheen

by Chexy on March 8, 2011

Cracked-out former sitcom star Charlie Sheen as seen in a rant last night on UStream, and actor Boris Karloff as Frankenstein, as seen eighty years ago during filming.

One’s a monster.

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Charlie Sheen, Like a Rolling Stone

by Chexy on March 6, 2011

“Winning” fried media carcass Charlie Sheen as seen on a CBS press thing last summer, and frequent rehabber Ron Wood of the Rolling Stones as seen at Paris Fashion Week today.

Only one accidentally shot Kelly Preston in the arm during their brief engagement, and caused $7,000 worth of damage to a hotel room in NYC.

Getty

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Freak Snowstorm in Los Angeles

by Chexy on January 28, 2011

Did I say snowstorm? I meant hernia.

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