It’s finally happened. Kim Kardashian’s face appears to be so shot full of Botox and fillers that she can no longer move it, and her left eye seems to be crippled under the weight of those eyelashes, as seen on the Emmy red carpet yesterday.
Fortunately, she is propelled by the sheer gravitational thrust of her lip liner.
Kim also added “can’t sing” to her list of no talent.
Elephantine Scientologist Kirstie Alley has squashed rumors that she’ll be pounding the parquet on “Dancing with the Stars” next season, by tweeting that she won’t be — but might do it in the future if asked.
Designer Vivienne Westwood as seen at a press view of “Vivienne Westwood Shoes: An Exhibition 1973- 2010″ at Selfridges in London, and MoonDreamers Evil Scowlene from Hasbro (enemy of My Little Pony).
So alike, and yet only one keeps everyone awake at night with her nightmare crystals.
The Eagle & Badge Foundation Gala brought out the heavy hitters on Saturday night in Beverly Hills… like wacky Ruta Lee, who appeared pretty in pink, including a devastating pink ostrich jacket. Ruta was not to be outdone by songwriter Carol Connors.
Carol wore her best “How Will I Know You?” party outfit, including a gold lame top, Guatemalan necklace and matching earrings from Santee Alley, and a cartoon octopus updo. Fabulous, right?
Miss America 1959, Mary Ann Mobley, 71, looked positively enchanting in chandelier earrings, Chiclet veneers and what appears to be a fresh blepharoplasty… with makeup by Baby Jane Hudson. Her husband, former TV host and recent drunk driving arrestee Gary Collins brought his A game.
I’m not sure what’s going on with Gary. Perhaps an open bar… it’s hard to say, as his expression is a perfect blend of surprise and terror, which was exactly my expression upon seeing his photo.
Not to be forgotten, Cheryl Tiegs appeared with a spectacular fleshtone lipstick fail. Ladies, take note — this look doesn’t work on anyone. Cheryl, who has had four husbands (none currently), will be 63 in September.
Zsa Zsa, 93, has left the building… she has refused further medical treatment after undergoing several operations in the past weeks, and has returned to her Bel-Air home (once owned by Elvis — who died August 16, 1977).
Lindsay Lohan, 47, meanwhile, is still being held in rehab at the same medical center, where she has been ostensibly cured of what ails her after just two weeks, and reports today say Dina Lohan is taking her home to Long Island.
Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall, in an appearance last weekend at a London memorial service marking the end of WWII. It’s been weeks since she graced her public with her lovely visage, though it seems like much longer.
Camilla’s own war against the senses continues, as seen in this craptabulous pink bonnet, festooned with roses made of used pink Kleenex tissues and fabric coils flown specially to the royal milliner from Jo-Ann Fabrics in Sherman Oaks, California.
She also had her hair colored at the local Y. Top it all off with a pearl necklace worthy of the royal jewels, and there you have her. Please.
A cheery looking Princess Anne, the Princess Royal, wore this wacky tiered hat to the graduation ceremonies of 23 Junior Soldiers at the Army Foundation College today in Harrogate, England, where it was a chilly 70 degrees. And here’s an abstract painting of the Guggenheim.
They have some fuckery down in Brazil! That’s singing star Cauby Peixoto at last night’s 21st Brazilian Music Awards in Rio de Janeiro, with a wig from the Mamie Eisenhower estate, and an eyebrow job that would make Joan Crawford angry. Here’s Cauby and his eyebrows in his heyday…
"These are simple people. The common clay. The salt of the earth. You know... morons."
--Gene Wilder as "The Waco Kid" in Mel Brooks' "Blazing Saddles"