It’s time to play everyone’s favorite home game, “Clock the Drag Queen”!

These nine beauties attended the Jersey Couture Pop-Up Beauty Bar event last night in NYC. Can you guess which one is not a biological woman?! (click pic to enlarge, scroll down for answer)

Answers: (left to right) Sammi Giancola, Tracy DiMarco, Deena Cortese, Carmen Carrera, Johanna Sambucini, Tinsley Mortimer, Sandra Denton and Cheryl Salt James, Sharie Manon.

Carmen is the man. I think.

via Johnny Lopez
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Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall, the original Callista Gingrich, was spotted handing out medals to Royal Navy personnel, while wearing this positively witchy ensemble.

That’s Billie Hayes as Witchiepoo on “H.R. Pufnstuf.”

for Porgy

No, this isn’t one of the new queens on Ru Paul’s Drag Race. This isn’t even a man.

There’s happy news out of Spain, as you can see in the sanguine expression on the face of the Duchess of Alba. At least I think you can see it. Clearly she doesn’t have a care in the world, as evidenced by the fuchsia earrings and jaunty blue bow in her hair. Yes, this is ossified glee.

The Duchess of Alba and Alfonso Diez had no honeymoon after the October nuptials that solidified their July/February romance. There’d been a problem with Cayetana’s pelvis, requiring rest, and then there are the pesky austerity measures thrust upon the august duchess, which make traveling with an entourage a bit of conspicuousness best left behind palace doors, and heaven knows we don’t want to know what’s going on there.

Somehow, though, the newlyweds managed a getaway to the Loire Valley.

Speaking of grapes…

Bring on the tap dancing kids.

Refaced Scientologist Greta Van Susterin interviews molten hot First Lady wannabe Callista Gingrich. Keep an eye on her hair.

Rockin’ it old school… Linda Hopkins.

From 1934′s “Down to Their Last Yacht,” the strangest big musical number of the era. It just keeps getting better, and by better, I mean I can’t believe it. Wait for the ship scene.

Oh the horror of it all. Demi Moore, who hasn’t eaten since 2011, is now hospitalized after a bad reaction to nitrous oxide. If you’re going to use whip-its at age 49, you really should consider at least a nutritional breakfast. Or a power snack.

Meanwhile, Ashton is caught in a flood while visiting with models in Sao Paulo. That can’t be fun. Having your pick of the most beautiful women while nearly 40% of Brazil lives below the poverty line has to put a crimp in your biscuit.

Breaking up is hard to do.

Madonna, as she appeared last night at the NYC premiere of her film, “W.E.” at the Ziegfeld Theatre.

One of the pitfalls of Botox is that you can’t tell how far you’re stretching your facial muscles, because they’ve been deadened, leading to expressions like this when a photog yells, “Big smile, Madonna!”

Speaking of facial immobility, Kim Kardashian co-hosted “Live with Kelly and Not Regis” yesterday, where she was snapped while attempting to smile.

I don’t know if you’ve heard… she’s single.

Cayetana, the Duchess of Alba, shuffled out of the palace and into a charity flamenco catwalk event in Seville on Saturday.

Here we have a lovely bouffant, controlled with a bejeweled barrette, Cleopatra eyeliner and painted eyebrow as fine as a coffee drop down the side of a mug.

What a mug.

Mick Jagger, 68, as seen last night at a birthday party in NYC, and a donut.

One has no preservatives.

What if Greta Garbo had played the Bride of Frankenstein, instead of Elsa Lanchester?

via whywonder

Carole Cook, 84, appeared last night at the Paley Center’s screening of the Carol Channing film, “Larger Than Life.” Miss Cook is the star of such kitsch classics as “The Incredible Mr. Limpet” and “Palm Springs Weekend.” She is neither surprised nor startled. She is merely fabulous. Hair by Technicolor. Makeup by Dupont.

“West Side Story” remnant George Chakiris, 77, attempted some type of facial expression. Greek chic! This is a very convincing weave. I’m not sure if he’s about to smile or weep.

Michael Learned, 72, the mom on “The Waltons,” looked relaxed and alert, perhaps shocked, I’m not sure. Goodnight, John Boy.

Conservative Republican Connie Stevens, 73, with a spectacular lipliner fail, with some type of hair that looks like it’s been infiltrated by makeup left on a pillow. Those are not maggots, that’s part of her dress.

The effervescent Ruta Lee, star of 1954′s “Seven Brides for Seven Brothers,” is giving Lithuanian glamour, and a makeup applied with more force than a “Drag Race” contestant. Don’t you just want to kiss her? She always looks like she’s chewing gum. Labas rytas!

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for Matt and Jackie