From the category archives:

hot messes

Play ‘Clock the Drag Queen’!

by Chexy on February 3, 2012

It’s time to play everyone’s favorite home game, “Clock the Drag Queen”!

These nine beauties attended the Jersey Couture Pop-Up Beauty Bar event last night in NYC. Can you guess which one is not a biological woman?! (click pic to enlarge, scroll down for answer)


Answers: (left to right) Sammi Giancola, Tracy DiMarco, Deena Cortese, Carmen Carrera, Johanna Sambucini, Tinsley Mortimer, Sandra Denton and Cheryl Salt James, Sharie Manon.

Carmen is the man. I think.

via Johnny Lopez
Getty

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Happiest Place in the Galactic Confederacy

by Chexy on January 26, 2012

Actor Tom Cruise and daughter Suri spent yesterday at Disneyland.

One of them dreams of being a pretty princess.

for J.Lo

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Rose Parade 2012

by Chexy on January 2, 2012

They’re back! Rose Parade hosts Bob Eubanks of “The Newlywed Game” and “Stephanie Edwards” of Lucky supermarket commercials (yeah, they’re gone) will once again bore the minions with details on the making of the ridiculous floats sailing down Colorado Blvd. in Pasadena today.

Last year, Stephanie said she was going to put nuts on her face.

I’m looking forward to seeing how that worked out for her.

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Signs the End is Near: Kim Kardashian Barbie

by Chexy on December 30, 2011

Kim Kardashian is tweeting some, er, titillating news regarding a possible Barbie in her likeness. This makes perfect sense, since every red-blooded parent wants her daughter to emulate a failed porn star.

Kim tweeted at the Ken doll (yes, I really wrote that, and yes, Ken is on the Twitter, and yes, I said “the Twitter” ironically), “Merry Christmas Barbs @Barbie Style! Long time no see! What did Ken get you for Christmas? Miss you doll!” Then, “Barbie” responded, “Happy Doll-idays to you too @KimKardashian! See you in 2012?”

Well-hung rap star, lummox basketballer and vapid sisters all sold separately. Mercifully, there’s no indication that the doll will speak.

In other Barbie news, Donna Douglas (below, left), whose life has been consigned to being Elly Mae Clampett of “The Beverly Hillbillies,” has just won a settlement against Mattel for using her likeness without permission.

Amy asked me, “Does the Kim doll come with Botox?” I don’t know where she learns these things.

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A Norse is a Norse

by Chexy on December 22, 2011

Sylvester Stallone and his Danish wife Brigitte Nielsen (who was involved in a car accident last night) “back in the day,” and American Idol runner-up Adam Lambert and his Finnish boyfriend, Sauli Koskinen, who were both arrested last night for fighting outside of a club in Finland.

What would Jackie do?

Stallone’s mother, Jackie Stallone, photographed four years ago at age 86. Most of her just turned 90.

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Lady Gaga Puts on Some Miles

by Chexy on December 20, 2011

Lady Gaga as she appeared today at Narita Airport in Tokyo, and veteran actress Sylvia Miles, 79, as she appeared recently in NYC.

It’s only a matter of time.

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Countdown to Irrelevance

by Chexy on December 16, 2011

The Gabor sisters; Magda, Zsa Zsa, Eva and their mother Jolie circa 1958, and below, the Kardashians last night in Las Vegas.

Ten, nine, eight…

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Duchess of Alba and Queen of Scientology

by Chexy on December 12, 2011

No, this isn’t a promotion for a new Tom Cruise zombie movie… oh, wait, yes it is.

Tom is doing a promo tour for “Mission Impossible 132″ and stopped in Madrid, where he met up with the stunning Duchess of Alba.

I don’t know which of the two is more frightening.

Oh, she is definitely more frightening than the duchess.

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Friday Face: Britney Spears at 30

by Chexy on December 2, 2011

Ding dang, Britney Spears is 30 today, and for her sheer wonderfulness as a pop culture star, she’s today’s Friday Face.

Born in Mississippi in 1981, she rose to prominence with the vomit-worthy “Baby One More Time” and the sickening “Oops, I Did It Again.” Little did we know that these would become mottoes for the public meltdown she would undergo as a result of drugs and bipolar disorder.

She has inexplicably sold over 100 million albums. Her net worth was recently estimated at $155 million. She remains under conservatorship.

For her resilience, strength and fabulosity, and in honor of her 30th birthday, Britney Spears is today’s Friday Face, y’all.

(Click the pic to enlarge.)

Illustration in collage:
David Gilmore
Photoshopped Britney:
PlanetHiltron

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Chexy’s Fashion Report: Casa Blanca

by Chexy on November 10, 2011

Oh jeeze, here we go again.

This not hot mess was sent down the runway during the Casa Blanca show at Charles Voegele Fashion Days in Zurich on Wednesday.

One should never wear a jacket and tie with shorts unless one is the 3-year-old ring bearer at a Kardashian wedding. And one should never wear yellow shorts and a pink shirt, unless one is a waiter at Jimmy Buffett’s Margaritaville Restaurant in Orlando.

In related news, a fourth gay bashing occurred Monday in West Hollywood, the fourth in as many weeks. Be careful out there.

The Image Gate/Getty

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