Chexydecimal » hot messes

Lindsay Lohan and Lizabeth Scott

Chexy — Thu, 10 May 2012 15:27:27 +0000

Lindsay Lohan appeared with a freshly inflated face last night at some nonsense in NYC… looking more like reptilian ’50s actress Lizabeth Scott than Elizabeth Taylor.

Scott, who will be 90 this year, appeared in 2010 at a screening of “The Strange Love of Martha Ivers.” Lohan will be 62 in in July.

Both never married.

Kim Kardashian Wants to Run for Mayor of Glendale

Chexy — Tue, 17 Apr 2012 19:05:17 +0000

Reality trash Kim Kardashian has revealed that she would like to run for Mayor of the heavily Armenian city of Glendale, a suburb of L.A.

In the public interest, I offer these potential campaign slogans.

Kim Kardashian — In the Pubic Interest

Who Needs Reality? Vote Kim

I Will Personally Help Every Black Man in the City

I Only Want to Be Mayor for 72 Days

I’m Dumb Enough for Politics

Just Say Ho

No Child Left, and No Ho Without a… Behind

Liberty and Botox for All

My Country Tis of Me

Lipstick on a Pig

HOpe

You Can Count (and Pee) on Me

The Land of the Fee

My Mom Said I Could

All for One, That One Being Me

Kimpossible

Electrolysis for Everyone!

ty Johnny Lopez

Star-Faced Girl Admits She Asked for Galaxy

Chexy — Tue, 17 Apr 2012 18:16:53 +0000

It turns out that Belgian bimbo Kimberley Vlaeminck did ask for 56 stars to be tattooed on her face 3 years ago, and she lied about “falling asleep” in the tattoo parlor, because she was afraid of her father’s reaction to her being such a fucking idiot.

She had originally said she was going to sue the tattooist for the cost of removing the offending Milky Way, and that a language barrier caused the tattoo snafu. All a lie.

The tattoo artist, one Rouslan Toumaniantz, even agreed to pay for removal because he didn’t want “an unsatisfied customer,” but later retracted the offer when her lie was admitted. Here’s his pic.

Those LensCrafter glasses are awful!

via Daily Mail

Chexy’s Fashion Report: Marc Jacobs

Chexy — Wed, 07 Mar 2012 22:47:52 +0000

No, he’s not starring in a new reality show “Drag Race at Plymouth Rock’s L.A. Ink,” that’s just designer Marc Jacobs at a photo call at Paris Fashion week.

He needs a friend.

Getty

Lindsay Lohan on ‘Today’ Show

Chexy — Thu, 01 Mar 2012 15:33:44 +0000

Lindsay Lohan is sober, but she doesn’t know how long it’s been, and she’s ready to host “SNL” this weekend. Lohan, 52, looks ready for the task, and has learned something about keeping up appearances by working in the L.A. County Morgue.

She looks remarkably alive.

Illustrated gif by I Have 4 Cats

Malibu Lindsay

Chexy — Thu, 23 Feb 2012 15:30:49 +0000

Former child star Lindsay Lohan appeared in court yesterday, wearing this salute to Malibu Barbie’s 50th anniversary reissue, even matching the color of her outfit!

Only one has synthetic parts, a Dynel weave, and a hollow skull.

Mob Wives of NYC

Chexy — Tue, 21 Feb 2012 19:23:45 +0000

“Mob Wives” giantess Big Ang disguised as Marilyn Monroe on the cover of Next, and “America’s Mayor” Rudy Giuliani at a 1997 event.

One looks like a man in drag.

Modern Valentines, 6, 7, 8.

Chexy — Tue, 14 Feb 2012 20:21:23 +0000

For those with linguistic challenges.

This may be one for real, I don’t know.

It gets better.

Chexy’s Fashion Report: Old Lady Chic

Chexy — Tue, 14 Feb 2012 19:13:11 +0000

Talent-free celebuspawn Kelly Osbourne with her ridiculous gray hair, and Joan Rivers, who has apparently developed ptosis of the right eye, as seen at the Badgley Mischka Fall 2012 fashion show in NYC.

One of these women is 78.

I’ll Be Back… Right after Surgery

Chexy — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 18:14:13 +0000

No, that’s not LeAnn Rimes and Eddie Cibrian in 2052… that’s LeAnn and Sly Stallone… I mean Arnold and Sly.

Arnold posted this picture saying that the two ran into each other on the way to shoulder surgery, much the same way his dick accidentally ran into the maid.

That’s LeAnn and Eddie on their wedding day.