Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall, the original Callista Gingrich, was spotted handing out medals to Royal Navy personnel, while wearing this positively witchy ensemble.

That’s Billie Hayes as Witchiepoo on “H.R. Pufnstuf.”

for Porgy

Bring on the tap dancing kids.

Refaced Scientologist Greta Van Susterin interviews molten hot First Lady wannabe Callista Gingrich. Keep an eye on her hair.

Rockin’ it old school… Linda Hopkins.

From 1934′s “Down to Their Last Yacht,” the strangest big musical number of the era. It just keeps getting better, and by better, I mean I can’t believe it. Wait for the ship scene.

This colorized picture of Abraham Lincoln is mesmerizing to me. Just look at that Friday Face!

Here’s an oddly pertinent quote from Mr. Lincoln:

“I see in the near future a crisis approaching that unnerves me and causes me to tremble for the safety of my country. As a result of the war, corporations have been enthroned and an era of corruption in high places will follow, and the money power of the country will endeavor to prolong its reign by working upon the prejudices of the people until all wealth is aggregated in a few hands, and the Republic is destroyed. I feel at this moment more anxiety for the safety of my country than ever before, even in the midst of war.”
–Abraham Lincoln in a letter written to William Elkin, 1860

The colorized version somehow makes him more immediate, more real, less mythical.

My favorite book as a first-grader was this one by Ingri and Edgar Parin d’Aulaire:

I withdrew it from the school library time after time. Just a few years ago, I found one in a used bookstore that had been discarded from a library in Missouri. (The book is available on Amazon, just click the above pic.)

I was fascinated by this illustration and others in the book

Naturally, there were two things I loved at Disneyland: the Nickelodeon (long gone), and Great Moments with Mr. Lincoln… the original (it’s been updated since 2001).

I know, I am a nerd, and Abraham Lincoln is today’s Friday Face.

top photo/quote via Dregs of the Future

Actor Tom Cruise and daughter Suri spent yesterday at Disneyland.

One of them dreams of being a pretty princess.

for J.Lo

Kim Kardashian is tweeting some, er, titillating news regarding a possible Barbie in her likeness. This makes perfect sense, since every red-blooded parent wants her daughter to emulate a failed porn star.

Kim tweeted at the Ken doll (yes, I really wrote that, and yes, Ken is on the Twitter, and yes, I said “the Twitter” ironically), “Merry Christmas Barbs @Barbie Style! Long time no see! What did Ken get you for Christmas? Miss you doll!” Then, “Barbie” responded, “Happy Doll-idays to you too @KimKardashian! See you in 2012?”

Well-hung rap star, lummox basketballer and vapid sisters all sold separately. Mercifully, there’s no indication that the doll will speak.

In other Barbie news, Donna Douglas (below, left), whose life has been consigned to being Elly Mae Clampett of “The Beverly Hillbillies,” has just won a settlement against Mattel for using her likeness without permission.

Amy asked me, “Does the Kim doll come with Botox?” I don’t know where she learns these things.

Happy 75th Birthday to Mary Tyler Moore, seen here at a Broadway opening in September.

Mary has been a champion of diabetes, and has worked closely with the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation. As many of you know, my imaginary daughter Amy has juvenile diabetes.

Won’t you make a donation in Mary’s honor? Thanks!

Students from Creative Planet School of the Arts join the Gay Men’s Chorus of Los Angeles in their take on “The Nutcracker’s” Dance of the Toy Flutes, in which young Clarence finds sheep.

That paragon of journalism, The Mirror, has done an age progression for Suri Cruise, theorizing that this is how the brainwashed fashionista moppet will look when she’s 25.

This is not taking into account her future cult deprogramming, possible drug abuse and prison time.

The Mirror

Child star Miley Cyrus as she appeared this weekend, and child star Shirley Temple in the 1930s.

One claims it was salvia.

Ah, it’s Christmastime, and Camilla is tormenting children again.

The Duchess of Cornwall held a tea and tree decorating ceremony at Clarence House, where 3-year-old Finley Middleton (no relation) became frightened and tried to run.

Fa la la la la, la la la la.