Here’s a scene from a really campy, overblown movie called “Dead Ringer,” in which Karl Malden plays a police sergeant, and Bette Davis plays his girlfriend, who murders her twin sister and assumes her identity.
Karl is great in this last reel, especially in the last shot (5:25). You might recognize L.A.’s Greystone mansion. Love the floor. Listen for the hyperbaked Andre Previn score. This film was directed by Bette’s old friend Paul Henreid, who memorably lit two cigarettes at once as her co-star in “Now Voyager.” Malden died Wednesday at age 97.
No, that’s not Woody Allen with his wife, or his mother-in-law.
As a promotion, Madame Tussauds left Woody’s wax figure on a chair in the noonday sun at Tribeca Film Festival’s Family Festival Street Fair, because who better represents closeness in families than Woody? Am I right, people?
The waxen Woody made some pithy remark about melting into Jewish mayonnaise on a lawn chair, and about how much he’d like to not be there when it happened.
I’ll be here all week. Try the brioche filet mignon burgers.
Photo by Astrid Stawiarz/Getty Images for Tribeca Film Festival
The Kazakh Flying Circus performed last night in downtown Uzbekistan, with high-wire act Sventlana Boryenka donning her signature leopard flying suit, atomic makeup and plutonium enriched hair for the evening’s acrobatics.
Or, it’s Christina Aguilera at Perez Hilton’s birthday party Saturday in Los Angeles. One or the other.
Is Bushie making a deal to become a moronic country western singer after his days in the White House are over?!
Er, not quite. No world leader wants to be seen within photographing distance of George Bush… except for Sudan’s first Vice President, Salva Kiir Mayardit, who wore his best electric blue suit and a big ol’ hat to meet with the worst president in U.S. history.
No, that’s not a drag queen trying to look like Judith Light on “Ugly Betty,” that’s NBC News hottie Andrea Mitchell, commenting on “Meet the Press” this past Sunday. She’s married to former Fed Chairman Alan Greenspan.
My imaginary daughter Amy, 6, announced as I applied her silvery blue nail polish, that she wanted a baby daddy. Apparently, she’s been reading copies of Us magazine that my ex, Carolyn, leaves in her bathroom. “Can I have a Larry Birkhead baby daddy, Daddy?” she asked me, and then added nearly by rote, “And can you Supersize it please?” — which tells me that Carolyn has again been taking Amy to McDonald’s for Happy Meals.
Then Amy insisted, “Sarah Palin’s daughter has a baby daddy, why can’t I have one?”
Seeing that Amy didn’t quite grasp what a baby daddy is, I asked her where she thought she might get one. “At Target,” she shot back in the disdainful, incredulous tone reserved for children who find their parents painfully unaware. “And I need one soon because my stomach is getting bigger.” (She’s big for 6.)
I asked her how she knew about baby daddies at Target, and she answered without hesitation, “I saw it on Maury Pobitch.” (Carolyn’s favorite show.) One hour later, Amy chose her baby daddy from Target — in the form of a plastic Zac Efron as Troy in “High School Musical.”
No, darlings, that’s not your Chexy at Fashion Week — it’s a Thom Browne model at his Spring 2009 show! Next time I’m invited to a gay wedding, I know what I’ll be wearing!
Although I think I’ll raise that hemline a little… and I’m not quite sure gingham works with checks.
That’s the masthead seen on Monday’s edition of New Hampshire’s Valley News. This is the kind of thing that causes editors to lose sleep. And no, they didn’t hire a more sibilantly friendly editor.
The G8 leaders met in Japan to discuss world hunger — over a 6-course lunch and an 18-course dinner. What’s good for the goose… should be made into foie gras!
According to a World Bank study published last week, up to 105 million more people, including 30 million in Africa, could drop below the poverty line because of rising food prices. Eat your beans.
