Uncompromising doofus Ashton Kutcher as he appeared in brownface in a now pulled PopChips ad, and the New Jersey tan mom, arrested for allegedly putting her 5-year-old daughter in a tanning bed.

One pales in comparison.

For Republican whack job Michelle Bachmann, It’s back to her day job as Satan’s secretary a Minnesota Representative, after the 55-year-old neo-fascist came in 6th in the Iowa caucuses, having received a terrifying 5% of the vote. She can also go back to her husband’s counseling practice (he’s not a licensed psychologist in Minnesota), where they attempt to transform homosexuals into heteros.

This photo doesn’t help.

No, no, no.

My tears won’t dry.

Here’s a look for when you want to look like disposable medical packaging, as seen on a runway model at the Ehud Menswear show at Paris Fashion Week on Wednesday. An ideal look for summer interns… at the Max Ernst Museum.

This more conservative look was also shown. Yellow lipstick is always a hit with the liver-challenged. Imagine this look… on your bank teller.

Mugler sent this chest-baring nonsense down the runway — for when you want to look like you were recently released from a 5150 hold at a state psychiatric facility. I guess this is the “Stormtrooper through a broken window” look that’s so popular with the kids. For when you want to look like a Sim with a social problem.

Here’s another Mugler look, just perfect for when you want to disturb Homeland Security agents at the airport. I know I always want to look like a shattered bottle of calamine lotion. Instant relief from itching.

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Yes, we all know what you’re saying. Please stop asking.

Thanks,

Chexy

“Idol” Judge from the Block Jennifer Lopez as seen last night at the Weinsteins’ Oscar party in West Hollywood, and ventriloquist’s dummy Jerry Mahoney, made from a block.

One had extensive face work to create this effect.

Prince Chuck points a metal detector at a Getty photographer while Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall, stands by her manque.

Chuck’s timing couldn’t have been worse… he pulled this little stunt while meeting members of the Explosive Ordnance Disposal Regiment — just before a service to commemorate its fallen members! Talk about bombing!

But as long as we’re here, let’s take a look at the Duchess.

This is a look that’s perfect for a memorial service, because she looks like she just passed away.

The fleshtone lipstick is a tragic fail, compounded by the horror of a light beige lip liner that makes her look like she was drinking a Venti in the car.

Her hairspray fumes appear to have caused an explosion that has left her eyes covered in soot.

The crepe scarf is a nice touch. It softens her look, in much the way that a rat-tail file will soften metal.

Dennis – WPA Pool/Getty

Arizona killer Jared Loughner as seen in his mugshot, and reality TV star and reprehensible liar Sarah Palin.

Both display the cold, dead eyes of insane beliefs.

Corinne Bailey Rae is one of my favorite singers. I didn’t know that she was working at Arby’s.

That’s how Corinne appeared at the Q Awards in London on Sunday… between shifts.

“Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.”

And Delaware shall not elect the idiot Christine O’Donnell. Please, God.