oh yes he did

Dear Holy Father,

It’s not looking good for you. You’re 84, you’re THE POPE, and you haven’t yet learned what Jesus taught. I expect a little better from someone who had the sense to get the heck out of the Hitler Youth.

Let me make it simple for you, Your Holiness. Gay marriage is not a threat to the family. Snooki is a threat to the family. Kim Kardashian is a threat to the family. Trans fats, high fructose corn syrup and Newt Gingrich are a threat to the family. Faygelehs? Only a threat to bad decor… and not all of them.

Since I have your attention, you might want to talk to your tailor about updating your look. Those glittery robes and pointy hats are so 2nd century.

There are only half a million gay marriages in the US. There are 76 million American Express cardholders. I’d be concerned about that.

When you look at all the things that ail mankind (and I don’t mean Catholicism), the persecution of the legal coupling of people who would like to have privileges that they pay for others to have, and calling it a threat to the familly, seems a bit like saying that dinner mints are a threat to civilization. Okay, maybe the ones with jelly in them.

I’ll try to say it like Jesus did, or better yet, I’ll let Him say it:

I give you a new commandment:
Love one another;
just as I have loved you,
you also must love one another. (John 13:34)

Thanks for staying awake to read this.

Love,

Your Chexy

P.S. LOVE love luuuuuv the red shoes!

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