It’s time to play America’s favorite game, “Can You Guess the Biological Woman?” The host of today’s game, Johnny Lopez, created this cornucopia of curious cuties, who all attended last night’s 45th Anniversary gala for The Advocate.

Answers below the clock. I said “clock.”

From top left, the hilarious Coco Peru, porny Traci Lords, former Marine and activist Calpernia Addams. Bottom from left, Drag Race evictee Willam Belli, writer and activist Andrea James, and feline funnyman Bruce Vilanch.

Johnny says Traci is the biological woman.

Sears Home Appliances.

Sears Hos.

A model, as seen today in the Minimarket A/W 2012 Fashion Show in Stockholm, and actor Willam Belli from the new season of “RuPaul’s Drag Race.”

At least one of them is a man.

(Video sound may not be safe for work.)

Today marks what would have been the 99th birthday of Loretta Young, who began her career in silent films in 1917 at the age of 3, winning an Oscar in 1947 for “Farmer’s Daughter,” and making a highly successful transition to TV with an 8-year run of “The Loretta Young Show.”

Young had a child with the then-married Clark Gable in 1935. She hid the birth and later “adopted” the child, naming her Judy Lewis.

Loretta Young was a lifelong Republican and very active in the church, earning her the nicknames “Attila the Nun” and “Saint Loretta.” She married three times, with one annulment and one divorce.

In 1993, she married 83-year-old fashion designer Jean Louis, who died four years later. (Louis designed the gown Marilyn Monroe wore to sing “Happy Birthday, Mr. President,” which sold at auction in 1999 for $1.26 million.)

In 1973, her son Christopher Lewis, then 29, was charged with child molestation and filming and distributing child porn. He plead “no contest” and faced life in prison, but got probation and a $500 fine. Another son, Peter Lewis, was in the rock group Moby Grape.

Her daughter with Gable (below) died late last year.

Loretta Young died of ovarian cancer in 2000.

You can visit her remains at Holy Cross Cemetery in Culver City. Loretta Young is today’s Friday Face.

Recalling the horrors of ten years ago wasn’t the only trauma on September 11, as seen by the Duchess of Alba, Cayetana Fitz-James Stuart and fiance Alfonso Diez, when Cayetana puckered up (I think that’s what she’s attempting to do) for a smooch.

From the Duchess’ expression (or lack thereof) below, I don’t think it was quite what she’d hoped.

The lovebirds attended a horse race in which her son, Count of Salvatierra Cayetano Martinez de Irujo, was a rider.

Alfonso was treated and released.

Getty

William Levy, underwear model, telenovela actor and star of Jennifer Lopez video has made the cover of People Espanol.

“El hombre mas sexy.”

Nice sock.

Ousted Libyan glamourpuss Moammar Gadhafi (left) and former Miss Trinidad & Tabago and Anya Ayoung-Chee (right).

Both elegant and demure in lavender gowns and matching caps, but only one starred in a sex tape threesome… that we know of.

This was reality TV. Stay tuned for the rating.

What a putz.

Anthony Weiner. Here’s a guy that has everything going for him, and he’s gotta tweet dick pix to chicks for kicks. Putz.

Then he compounds his dickheadedness by lying about it, then doing a 180 and saying he did tweet X-rated pix. Oh, and btw, the wife is preggers with a little Weiner. And he’s not resigning. Fortunately, Hillary and Bill Clinton are close advisers, and they know from putzkeit.

My guess is he’ll resign sometime next week.

He can always drive a truck.

Now we know why Maria dumped him — he had a kid with the maid.

Gee, this seems to be a trend… Robin Williams married his maid, Jude Law had a baby with the nanny, John Edwards and his “filmmaker”… and Britney Spears married a backup dancer.

It’s so convenient to shtupp the help… they’re always handy, and nobody asks any questions when they’re suddenly “cleaning” the bedroom while you’re in there.

You know there will be photographs of the kid in the very near future. He has Kennedy half-siblings!