News, Politics, Religion, Entertainment, Gossip and Opinion for Thinking Folks
From the category archives:
Lady Gaga as she appeared at a concert in Duluth, Georgia (left), and “Crack Ho Barbie,” (right).
One has yellow hair, crazy fabulous eyebrows and is wearing mostly plastic.
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in bad hair, coinkydink, girls will be girls, lookalikes, tattoos
Before you jump to conclusions, that’s our Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall, after receiving a henna tattoo on her finger… while visiting the Clock Cafe in Fez, Morocco. At least that’s the story they’re telling.
The Duchess and Chuck were supposed to visit the Sahara Desert today, but high winds forced a cancellation — we know what high winds do to Cam’s hair, which, by the way, looks particularly angelic today, as if the sun took step of her.
If you don’t believe me, just take a look at that Moroccan queen in the upper left giving Cam’s hair the “whatevers.”
Chris Jackson-WPA Pool/Getty
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in bad hair, girls will be girls, royals, tattoos
Idiot Chris Brown had another violent tantrum this morning after an appearance on “Good Morning America,” where Robin Roberts cuddled up to the singer with questions about the Rihanna beating, instead of ones about his new album.
Chris responded afterward by apparently throwing a chair through this dressing room window, causing shattered glass to tumble into Times Square. Bitch coulda killed somebody! And by “bitch” I mean Robin Roberts, of course.
That’s a pic of Chris making a hasty retreat after the incident, as reported by TMZ, and Eric “Lizard Man” Sprague.
One of them has ongoing image and anger management problems.
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in bad form, can you believe it?, chaos, haters, how will i know you?, morons, my nerves, plastic surgery, tattoos, unfortunate
This unfortunate-looking hooligan is neo-Nazi John Ditullio, 23, accused of murder in Florida, where a judge has ordered that for the duration of his trial, the court will pay up to $150 a day to cover the schmendrick’s face and neck tattoos, so as not to prejudice the jury on his character.
What did he want people to think when he got a swastika tattooed on his neck? That he was into knitting, baking cupcakes and reading Doris Lessing novels?
I know that when I had barbed wire tattoos put on my face, I hoped it would make everyone aware of my love for 19th Century French poetry and my taste for blue crystal vases.
Prosecutors say the covering of the tats allows him to hide the Nazi affiliations they claim drove him to murder, and his own attorneys claim its unnecessary.
Hopefully, some artfully applied Lancome will drive him to something more appropriate, like sales at Nordstrom Rack.
Ditullio is accused of stabbing 17-year-old Kristopher King to death, and attacking Patricia Wells, a neighbor, who claims she was targeted because she invited black friends to her home.
No word on whether they were going to have him shave his beard, so the jury doesn’t think he’s a douchebag.
Makeup!
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in bad form, bad hair, bastards, can you believe it?, chaos, haters, hideousness, horror, how will i know you?, legal, morons, murder, tattoos, unfortunate
Reality tattoo star Kat Von D at a book signing of “The Tattoo Chronicles” in Berlin, and Judy Garland on the cover of LIFE in 1954.
So alike, and yet only one drew all over her face to deliberately look like an idiot.
Sean Gallup/Getty
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in hideousness, lookalikes, tattoos
With the holiday weekend here, internet star and pseudo-singer/model Jeffree Star reminds us that before leaving the house, one should always remove one item from our ensemble. This is how J.Star appeared at the Krap Von D gallery opening in WeHo last night.
The gloves are just a little over the top… although my friend Brian says it’s the purse that “doesn’t go.”
Frazer Harrison/Getty
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in chexy's fashion report, fabulosity, hideousness, how will i know you?, oh the horror, pearl clutch, tattoos, unfortunate
Musical brothers Joel and Benji Madden (left or right, doesn’t matter) as seen last night at a Good Charlotte concert in Sydney, and executed 1920′s anarchists Sacco and Vanzetti.
So alike, and yet only two of them were definitely guilty — of bad taste.
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in lookalikes, tattoos, unfortunate
Jew-hatin’ imbecile Jesse James has found his burnt match in reality idiot Kat Von D, and I’d say it’s a match made in a garage somewhere in Orange County.
The moronic Von D tweeted this morning that she was indeed dating the former husband of Sandra Bullock, who kicked his ass to the 405 off ramp after his affair with a Nazi-esque stripper became front-page news.
I hope these two will be happy together — they can spend all their free time getting tattooed, because it looks so pretty on them.
Remember, kids, nothing says I loved you like having to remove a tattoo.
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in bad form, bad hair, bastards, bustups, crap, disasters, haters, hot messes, morons, no, oddities, oh the horror, reality tv, tattoos, unfortunate, unsanitary, whatever, wrecks
My imaginary daughter Amy, 6, spent a long weekend with her mother, Carolyn and her boyfriend Fahd, visiting with Carolyn’s relatives in Massachusetts. As you can see by the above photo, Amy returned as a Goth. Yes, I know she’s big for six. I was especially reminded when I insisted on taking temporary custody of her new tee shirt, a gift from her Aunt Crystal.
This unfortunate episode seems to have been prompted by Carolyn’s sister Crystal’s new look, as seen below. I haven’t seen Crystal for over ten years, not quite long enough to create a comfortable distance. Amy tells me, “Aunt Crystal’s apartment looks like those places on ‘Clean House’ on Style Network. Before.”
Now, I’m all for Amy’s sense of self-expression, but my encouragement runs into some paternal hesitancy at fingerless gloves, black nail polish and cringeworthy nose jewelry. I was thankful, at least, that her tattoo was temporary, like her mother’s civility. Amy modified her look with this cheery tee shirt so we could attend her school’s father/imaginary daughter conference.
I drove Amy back to her mother’s, where we found Carolyn outside, waiting, barefooted, for what she said was a “Domino’s delivery.” As you can see by her expression, she was delighted to see me. Nearly as delighted as her second toe was with its ring.
It was a rough flight back for Carolyn. Her boyfriend, Fahd, was bounced off the plane when he didn’t fit in his seat. Amy took this pic with her Hello Kitty iPhone.
This apparently ended with some type of scuffle in which a flight attendant, Geraldo, was not just hurt, but offended.
Amy said, “Geraldo reminded me of you, Ricky. Only cuter. And younger.”
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in bad form, bad hair, horror, hot messes, my imaginary daughter amy, my nerves, style, tattoos, unfortunate, unsanitary
My imaginary daughter Amy, 6, had a very rough day at school, with kids teasing her about being part of Michelle Obama’s campaign against obesity in children.
“Am I obese, Ricky?” she lamented, while reaching for a celery stick. “Am I like Maury Pobitch fat?” She refuses to get his name right.
Amy has had a slight weight problem since she was 2, exacerbated by her recently blonded mother Carolyn’s insistence on viewing the food pyramid as a tourist attraction. As you can see by Carolyn’s expression, the Nile is, indeed, a river in Egypt.
“No, you’re not obese, honey,” I lied. “I like to think of you as delicious,” which she is. “But you could follow the rules and eat sensibly,” I paternally added.
“I’m thinking of going on a diet,” she said, “because Mrs. Obama thinks I’m fat. At least I’m not stupid like those kids who say I’m obesity.” She had an excellent point there, and I didn’t have the heart to correct her usage.
“I mean, look at this cute outfit I have on!” I couldn’t deny that her socks, faux tats and Converse were precious. Yes, I know, she’s big for six.
She trundled off to her room to write Michelle Obama a letter. Here it is:
Dear Michelle First Lady,
My name is Amy. I’m 6. I’m sorry I’m so fat, but I’m big for six. I will try to lose weight. I think you are very beautiful. My imaginary friend Delilah is going to help me. Oh, and Ricky too.
Love,
Amy Elaine
P.S. Can Sasha and Malia come over sometime? My dad will make something not fattening.
Just after I finished reading it, Carolyn blew the horn (she can’t come in per the court order). Amy grabbed her things and went outside to Carolyn’s VW Jetta, where, as I watched from the window, she was handed a bag of food from Carl’s drive-thru, which Amy refused!
Thank you, Mrs. Obama!
‘Maury’ Illustration by Rev. Josh of Life Without Taffy, from Chexy’s collection.
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in food, girls will be girls, health, i love you too, kids, language, my imaginary daughter amy, obamas, obesity, pearl clutch, tattoos, unfortunate
"If the phone doesn't ring, it's me.”
--Jimmy Buffett
