It seems only natural that since today is Good Friday, that Jesus Christ should be today’s Friday Face. Since y’all know the story, I’ll just name the various depictions of Jesus above, from left to right.
Row 1: From left we have Shroud Jesus, which I always figured was the likeliest Jesus face since it was miraculously printed on the shroud. Then there’s a face based on the shroud. The one with the crown of thorns is what I call “Gevalt Jesus,” rolling his eyes in that “Oy, do I have to do EVERYTHING myself?” kinda way. Hipster Jesus, with the RayBans and a past-trend scarf.
Row 2: First is Sacred Heart Jesus, who makes a living on postcards and candles. Then it’s cross-eyed Christ, who favors the red sash. The there’s Anthro Jesus, dreamed up by people who look for fossils and stuff. And last on the row is Jewy Jesus, who looks like he’s got another business on the side.
Row 3: First is Mysto-Jesus, who has a terrific shampoo and conditioner, and a Wahl trimmer. Then, in a mauve-ish sheath is another Gevalt Christ, who looks like me having to listen to Nicki Minaj’s new song. Next is Santa Cruz Christ, who looks like he should be on a tub of holy margarine. Last on the row is another Turin Jesus, just slightly older. And Lebanese.
Row 4: This is Scruff Christ, who should really turn it down with the pancake and the lip balm. Then it’s Berkeley Bob Christ, who is still in school. Next, another sacred heart cartoon Christ, who looks like a kid playing Jesus in a Catholic school play, and last, it’s Movie Star Jesus, one of the many over the years.
For his forgiving ways, for loving everyone and encouraging the same, Jesus Christ is today’s Friday Face.
While the Mormons are busily engaged in posthumously baptizing dead people, including famed Holocaust victim Anne Frank. One man, whose grandparents survived the Holocaust and suffered the indignity of being “converted” by Mormons after death, got even, reports the Daily Kos.
The anonymous humorist thought it only fair to follow this absurdity with another, leading to the creation of the “Convert a Dead Mormon to Gay” web site, the idea of which is as outrageously cuckoo as converting someone’s religion after they’ve quit breathing.
Click the pic of the generator below to visit the site and save your favorite dead Mormon’s soul from an eternity without Madonna, cosmos, and Grindr. Don’t know any dead Mormons? They’ll find one for you, thanks to those handy dead Mormon databases.
Don’t know any dead Mormons who weren’t already gay? Me either.
For those of you who sleep-in on Sundays, you missed Judge Judy being profiled on “CBS Sunday Morning.” Here’s the footage… and get a load of that house!
Kirk Douglas is 95 today, and that makes him today’s Friday Face.
And as my grandmother would say, “Did you know Kirk Douglas was Jewish?!”
Douglas was born Issur Danielovitch in Amsterdam New York, December 9th, 1916. His first film, “The Strange Love of Martha Ivers,” is one of my favorites. It was profiled in a previous Friday Face.
But Douglas is best remembered for Stanley Kubrick’s “Spartacus,” which Douglas also produced, using writers who had been previously blacklisted during the McCarthy era.
Happy Birthday to one of Los Angeles’ great citizens, Kirk Douglas, today’s Friday Face.
Ladies, are you looking for a smart outfit for Rosh Hashonah dinner? This handy Gareth Pugh getup will also catch any stray matzo balls in its convenient face grating, and you can also keep your face from grating on annoyed relatives, no easy task for some. Although it could be inconvenient when you try to blow the shofar, if you know what I mean, and I think you do.
Don’t let your ruggelach crumbs get all over your top! Here’s the answer to all your food-related stains, as seen yesterday at Spring/Summer 2012 Paris Fashion Week.
