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The Duchess of Alba has returned to Spain from her belated honeymoon in Paris! All is right with the world!

Here she is wearing what she thinks is a clip-on flower in her hair, but she’s accidentally picked up one of the cleaning cloths for the Duke’s eyeglasses. Ah well, it works. The makeup is sheer and has that slight glow of formaldehyde, and perhaps the smell.

The red rosary necklace gives her that bit of Christmas warmth, like Mrs. Claus on vacation in the islands.

The dress is purely hideous. It puts me in the mind of an unfortunately decorated tissue box, uncorrected by an aggressively imposing scarf which appears to represent a slide of a rapidly multiplying amoeba.

Overall effect: stunning, nonchalant elegance punctuated by mild visual trauma.

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Her Majesty as she appeared at the races in Newbury over the weekend… and a box of Spearmint Altoids.

Both delicious, exhilarating and often found with handbags.

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The Velvet Fog, whatever that means. Mel Torme.

Doris Day turned 88 this week.

A gem from Simon & Garfunkel.

Jolson, selling it.

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Alleged beauty maven Tabatha Coffey of “Tabatha Takes Over” as she appeared last night in NYC, and a couple of the kids from the Sci-Fi thriller “Village of the Damned.”

All scary.

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For those of you who didn’t win the Mega Millions last night… The Beatles. Nice stage.

Monty Python’s “Money Programme.”

Pink Floyd rocks it.

The best things in life are free…

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Exuberant crowds greeted Her Majesty in Valentine’s Park Redbridge today as part of her Diamond Jubilee tour of the UK. Betty wore a pre-Easter robin’s egg suit with giant pearl buttons with some shmata underneath, and one of her starched linen hats decorated with flowery dreck from Michaels.

The pin is the Pearl Quatrefoil Brooch, which Betty wore last Easter Sunday…

Methinks the Queen wore the brooch best with her Creamsicle coat in 2009.

Have you found your Easter outfit yet?

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That gorgeous Art Deco bar is the Ming Room at Hoe Sai Gai on Randolph Street in Chicago. Not in the mood for a drink? Try the Modern Room…

Hoe Sai Gai means “The Good Old World.” Perhaps this room is a little dark for your tastes… there’s always the Main Room, where a dish of Frogs’ Legs was a specialty.

Don’t you love the booths?!

This is what it looked like on the outside at night… down the street from Henrici’s.

The whole block was torn down in the early ’60s to make way for the Daley Center.

Ain’t it a froggin’ shame?

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