Back in the early 1970s, Elvis Presley shot his television set (see above). After perusing last night’s television listings, I had the same inclination. I’ve been thinking of giving up my cable, and this puts me one step closer. Here’s a sampling of what my choices were at 8:00 last night…
CBS was offering “Dogs in the City,” a new show about an animal shelter. This seems about as inviting as an actual visit to an animal shelter.
NBC had a repeat of the Betty White show in which she makes fun of young people who don’t expect old people to top their game. This is like “Candid Camera” with Depends, and has all the charm of a visit with grandma at the convalescent hospital.
PBS had something about reptiles and aliens, called “Primeval.” If it’s science fiction, or reptiles, you can be sure I won’t watch. Nobody likes snakes… except for people who have tattoos and unusual piercings.
FOX had “So You Think You Can Dance.” So you think you can watch it? I can’t.
The WB or whatever that is offered “Burn Notice,” which featured a “tactical assault team descending on Miami.” If it has anything to do with Florida, it’s unwatchable. Period.
I skipped over QVC’s kitchen sale items and the Korean Prime Time Local News, and the ESPY Awards, I mean, who cares? I’m not going to watch “Real Housewives of Orange County” on Bravo because I value my remaining brain cells.
FOX News had an O’Reilly repeat, as if it weren’t revolting enough on the first viewing.
TBS had back-to-back “Family Guy” repeats; watching them is nearly as depressing as back-to-back episodes of “Hoarders.”
Weather Channel had the oh-so-tempting “Coast Guard Alaska.” I’m queasy just thinking about it.
TNT offers “The Mentalist,” which I can’t envision myself watching, ever.
Lifetime has a lurid repeat of “Wife Swap,” which is nearly as alluring as watching some Brit yell for an hour on “Restaurant: Impossible.” How annoying is that bastard?
Speaking of bastards… E! offers more horror with “Keeping Up with the Kardashians,” which I assume is the most popular show being broadcast at the moment, which in turn causes me to assume that culture is dead, buried and forgotten… and after watching for exactly two minutes, I wish that the Kardashians were as well.
It is only the Kardashians that can make repeats of “Storage Wars,” “Toddlers & Tiaras” and “Pawn Stars” seem appealing.
in CTN: Chexy Television Network, chexy takes on, horror, kardashian, old people, reality tv, unfortunate